TO MARRY OR NOT TO MARRY? (April is National Poetry Month)

 

        To marry or not to marry became a major theme among UK women in the 1920's and 1930's. Must one choose between marriage and career? At the time most women could not have both. The issue of marriage became a subject that many women expressed their feelings about through poems.

Old Maid (1925)
Sarah Litsey

“She caught at life with far too fragile hands.
Being well versed in patience such as hers
It managed to evade her mild demands.

Pleasurable martyrdom which sometimes slurs.
Across the prickly edge of torn conceit
Guarded her vanity. Small duties done
Rounded her hours and made each day complete.

Her life went out in dribbles. One by one
She laid the passionless, pale days aside.
Then she adopted a thin, scraggly boy;
And all the neighbors wondered when she died
If he had been a duty or a joy.
Now he is tall and gay and rather brave,
and once each year sends flowers to her grave.”


Spinsterhood (1932)
Anonymous

“I am a book of one volume,
Pocket edition, and easy to carry around.
Yet I remain quietly upon my dutiful shelf.

But if you care to dip within my neat covers
You will find surprising things-
Great hopes, gay laughter, cruel disappointment,
And all the back and forth, that saws a heart in two.”


Misunderstood (1931)
Anonymous

I sit with the sick,
I comfort the dying-
Men look at me, and do not see.
They think I'm shy!
They cannot know that long ago
Out of a book a Knight came riding by.

These men about me
Are fat men, thin men;
They sweat in summer time.
They sell socks and ties,
And gasoline and groceries,
And have not words to charm my heart.

When I am dead.
They will write upon my tomb;
"She never know [sic] love"-
And will not guess
I loved myself too well to share
My own exquisiteness
With less than Lochinvar.

So I make pretense
And send abroad another self
To gossip with the world.
I sit with the sick,
I comfort the dying,
And men look at me and say:
"Pity, she never married."

        Yet, even if they chose to marry some women were unsure about the eventuality of such a union. Kathryn Myrick wrote in 1931:

Marriage
Kathryn Myrick

And then you asked, "How long will you love me?"
And in a low, choked voice I answered dutifully, "Forever,"
But even as I spoke I knew I lied.
"Forever" is too long a time for love.
Love is sharp and bright,
Love is youth and smiling eyes,
Who hums a haunting little tune
As he strolls along.
He stops only one hour
To gather fragrant blossoms to wear in his golden hair.

        Moreover, some women realized that marriage was not just about love, but about their personal freedom. Anne Luxon, a recent UK graduate, expressed her feelings in 1932:

Freedom
Anne Luxon

My husband has left me.
At last I can
Listen to the rain on the roof,
Or sit up in bed
And watch the moon.

My husband has left me.
I ought to be sad.

From Our Rightful Place: Women at the University of Kentucky, 1880-1945 (University Press of Kentucky) 2020